The Queen speaks:
"OH YEY, OH YEY, OH YEY ! CASE AGAINST THE HOSPITAL FOR UGLYFYING PATIENTS AND NOT TEACHING THEM CRAFTS AND ART"

The prosecutor speaks:
ALL RISE IN THE NAME OF OUR PEOPLE
The Prosecution council wishes to bring up the subject of the uglyfication of patients in mental hospitals and put forward, instead, character building and others need for crafts and art

The Queen speaks:
Uglied.... The crime of being locked up and uglied in this day and age instead of natural beauty; Uglyfication and derision

PAUSE

The Queen speaks:
Case for the prosecution...

The prosecutor speaks:
Do we want Character and Craftsmanship or do we want death and despair?

The Queen speaks:
The evidence is as follows...
(Queen holds up each piece of evidence individually:)

2 tiles, handmade with marbles
(shows firstly to the King Poodle and then to camera)

woollen patchwork blankets and/or capes
(shows her own cape firstly to the King Poodle and then to audience/ camera)

knitted wigwams (works in progress)
(shows firstly to the King Poodle and then to camera)

many paintings including this fine example ‘Closing Time’ by a certain Jeanette Bell
(shows firstly to the King Poodle and then to camera)

The prosecutor speaks:
The prosecutor also proposes a hairdresser on the wards with no baldening of patients

The Queen speaks:
Case for the defence...

The defense lawyer speaks:
The case for the defence is as follows:

I defend the hospital’s policies, there appears to be no hard evidence of a general uglyfication process at play.

If there are indeed ugly patients and/or ugly wards I would suggest this comes more from certain patients lack of self discipline coupled with a refusal to comprehend the daily reality of staff shortages which will inevitably result in a shortage of readily available hands for the daily brushing of medium to long hair.

In terms of uglyfication of the fabric of the hospital building itself I would say to you that the uglyfying process is caused mainly by the profusion of graffiti in the corridors.

The Queen speaks:
Case for the prosecution:

The prosecutor speaks:
The writing on the hospital and grounds is a free and readily available means of self expressionism.

You show me examples of graffiti and I’ll show you examples of craftsmanship

(Court drawing by Jeanette.)

The Queen speaks:
Case for the defence...

The defense lawyer speaks:
Patients eat the wrong food, drink the wrong drinks and chain smoke like no tomorrow.

The Queen speaks:
Case for the prosecution:

The prosecutor speaks:
The cooked chicken is rubbish

The Queen speaks:
Case for the defence...

The defense lawyer speaks:
The abundance of hospital leisure pursuits from the ‘Take You Out of Yourself’ school of thought remain under utilised through no faults other than those of self-inflicted introversion and all round shoe gazing.

The Queen speaks:
The case for the prosecution continues...

The prosecutor speaks:
It is difficult for people to self-motivate if they feel they have been ‘uglyfied’ or have had their character reduced.

There is ill-informed decoration and design everywhere: corridors, wards, offices, staff canteens... we would suggest it takes more than extensive use of ‘good for nothingness’ wood-look trellis and ‘a hint of ’ nothing in particular pastel shades from the cheapskate paint warehouse to create a harmonious ambiance.

Patients driven to animal senses need to swipe back

The Queen speaks:
As further evidence both for prosecution and defence, some examples of graffiti from the hospital:

On an outside bench:
‘THE PERSECUTORS WILL BECOME THE PERSECUTED’

On a toilet role holder in the ‘ladies’:
‘THE POWER SUCKS’

Grafitti by Jeanette Bell:
‘REMEMBER YOUR WORTH’

‘STOP INTIMIDATION’

‘A THING OF BEAUTY IS A JOY FOREVER’

‘ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOLD’

‘NO WICKED END - THE CAT HAS GOT THE CREAM OFF ME’

‘MAY ALL YOUR JOYS BE LITTLE ONES’

A hospital porter writes:
‘KNOWLEDGE IS TREACHEROUS’

Voila...!

PAUSE

The Queen speaks:
The King Poodle will now consider the verdict